Puplic Speaking.

I am a very shy person, I get very frightened to speak in front of multiple people. Well I am thinking the lord is telling me it is time to face this fear.

It has been along time since I needed to do any public speaking. A few months ago I was at on of the girls performances and we didn't have an announcer, so I was asked to do it. I know all of the girls, and I also know all of the dances, so it should be no problem right? I stood their shaking in fear during each dance repeating over and over what I needed to say next. I did not enjoy any of the performance, but it made me realize that a fear i had manageable in high school is not any more.

Last night I was at bible study. It is a small lovely group of ladies whom I am forming amazing friendships with. as we close each night we pray. Pretty standard right, well last night our leader asked me to close us in prayer. I totally froze up, after thanking our lord I just started to stutter. How am I suppose to pray for these other woman? I am very conferable praying for myself and with my children, but for a group of woman, I am the mouth piece for all that is in their hearts. I felt so overwhelmed for them I just couldn't speak.

Now the public speaking that is coming up tomorrow that I am not ready for no matter how well I know the subject matter I just keep writing my out line and note cards but I haven't found all that I want to cover. Tomorrow I will be talking to my daughters child development class about teen parenting. This is a very special topic in our house. One that has been openly discussed with my children and all of their friends for a very long time. One I ask about constantly, but the idea of sharing some moments that I am not proud of is freaking me out. Of hoping to impact one of them to make a difference, giving a real account of life and how it should not be done. I know that this has been in the making for my like for a while now I just want to make all of them think, with out hurting my daughter. I keep thinking that this would be easier to discuss if my baby wasn't in the room listening.
She lived it all with me.
She has felt the consequences of my actions.
She has been taught about how parenting is not for teens and why.
But she has never heard details of life with her while I was in high school. At least not the "real" feelings and details, and I am considering sharing some of those.

I know god is in control and if he can use me to stop just one pregnancy then I know I fulfilled His purpose, but please let me see the balance of truth and not to hurt Brianna.